Are You a Recovering People Pleaser?
Not too long ago I was sharing on Facebook how my team and I all were stuck in our own respective areas on the new branding for Living Richly. What I didn’t share was this:
As we were talking through I told Sally & Sasha,
“I think we need to give ourselves permission for Living Richly to be all that she is. She isn’t just luxurious, she’s down to earth. She isn’t just light and bright, she’s deep and velvety. She’s duality, she’s everything.”
And, then I realized why I was having such a hard time deciding what to wear for the next photoshoot. I have always been all the things too. One day I would want to wear boyfriend jeans, skate shoes and an ethnies t-shirt, and the next day skinny black jeans, black t-shirt and a leather jacket, the next, a long, low cut flowy dress.
Although Living Richly will inevitably have her own unique style, as do I, and as do you - she’s ever-growing, ever-changing, and all encompassing.
Now more than ever it’s time to give yourself permission to step out of the box you've been put in for so long (by yourself, by others, by society).
I don’t remember being directly told this at any point in time growing up, but it all stands out as my clear perception of how I thought I should be:
Be quiet, polite, humble.
Don’t stand out, don’t take up space.
Don’t ruffle feathers.
Avoid conflict at all costs.
Be the peacekeeper.
Do your best to make everyone else happy and keep everyone comfortable.
And, that’s how I lived 20+ years of my life.
As much as I may have had to push it down, I’ve always had quite a bit of self awareness, but I questioned myself constantly.
Who am I? What am I here to do? What am I good at? What’s MY style? What do I want to say? What do i have to say?
I spent most of my life being quiet, not using my voice, listening diligently but constantly questioning if the thoughts in my head were valid enough to say out loud, if they were “right,” if i’d be judged or laughed at… or worse (and most likely) - totally ignored. I was terrified of getting it wrong, of saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing.
There were so many parts of myself that I wasn’t even aware I was suppressing. And others, like sexuality, that I felt too guilty and shameful to even consider talking about.
I felt anxious a lot of the time, filled with self doubt and constantly questioned myself and my purpose. I was also so tired aaaall the time.
It got to the point where all I could think about was “what’s my purpose?!” “What am I meant to share with the world?!”
It all changed when I felt devoted AND safe enough to start freeing my expression. I invested in mentors and masterminds that invited me to be more of myself, and who made me feel safe enough to practice letting these parts of myself out into the world that felt new even to me after being trapped up for so long.
As soon as I felt both safe and free to fully express all of myself I:
knew what my purpose was
had the courage and confidence to start my business
had the courage and confidence to share my message, my stories, my words in blog posts and videos that reached literally millions of women (it’s true, some of my youtube videos from my first business as The Bedroom Joyologist had over 1.5 million views) around the world
went from making $12 an hour to over $250,000 a year doing work I loved and gave me a sense of purpose
was able to start speaking on stage
stopped doing all (well, okay, most) the things I thought I should do to make others happy or slip under the radar or not ruffle any feathers
more than doubled my energy levels
started to meet more and more people who I not only felt safe to be myself around, and WANTED to be myself around, but who naturally drew more of my gifts out of me and as a result I was able to do the same for them
Full and free self-expression has been part of my work from day 1, 8 years ago. It started with sexual/sensual/pleasure expression, and evolved into expressing yourself in business, and now I’ve landed on Living Richly expression - the fullest, greatest, deepest expression in every area of your life.
And, having worked with thousands of women from around the world, I can say that it impacts every single area of your life - one way or another.
If you’re a recovering people pleaser, peace keeper, better-seen-than-heard woman who is now ready to discover and share the next evolution of your fullest, freest expression, I invite you to connect with me so that we can explore what’s next for you.
