Selective Generosity
This has been an exceptional week of growth. The kind where at several different moments I was almost (or totally) brought to tears due to floods of FEELING. It's been stunningly beautiful, uncomfortable and at times leaving my heart feeling like it burst completely open. As you may know I'm traveling right now, and in a sense I'm taken back to feeling the same way I felt 10 years ago when I went backpacking. A sense of aliveness, curiosity and love for the world, and the beauty in it, has been re-ignited.
There must be something about going on a journey on your own, being alone and yet the people you meet give you a sense that no matter what you are never really alone.
I feel like I have at least a dozen stories to share with you, for today I'm going to share one about something I recently confided to a friend.
"I'm selfish." It felt embarrassing to think and even more so to say out loud.
I've been encountering some pretty awe inspiring people who I consider to be extremely generous. This left me feeling both inspired and to be honest...a little down.
"Why am I not more generous?" "Something must be wrong with me - I'm so selfish" I kept thinking. Although I knew at some level that the self care and boundaries I set not only serve me but also inspire people-pleasing others to do the same, there was still a part of me that was feeling like I wasn't doing enough for others compared to some other people. (Yes, comparing...)
I shared these thoughts of mine with my friend Heather and the most beautiful, heart opening thing happening.
She shared with me all the ways she saw me being generous. Receiving this brought me to tears. This lead to a conversation about "selective generosity." This concept gave me a lot of relief and I hope it will bring you both relief and inspiration.
Selective Generosity: Generosity that is so inspired and authentic that you a) don't even realize you're doing it, b) are energized by it, c) smile and everyone else involved does too. It comes from a place of abundance, a full cup, more than enough.
Then there is obligated, should-y "generosity" - typically the obligation is only caused by you and your thoughts. It's usually draining. Perhaps there are even ulterior motives. Obviously this doesn't feel good, so much so you probably don't want to do it, or you don't end up doing it.
My message for you today is that not only is it okay to be selectively generous, it's actually better for everyone. We also talked about the fact that each of us, depending on our personality, style and area of abundance will show generosity in different ways.
Photo by www.heatherpennell.com
A few ways to show generosity:
Time
Money
Gifts
Feedback, thoughts and encouragement (aka words of love)
Connect others
Touch
Love
By following the action steps below, you'll feel a renewed sense of goodness in humanity and yourself, and you'll probably feel more generous than ever before - in the healthiest, most abundant and authentic way.
Here's what to do:
1. Pick 1 person (probably someone you're pretty close with) and tell them all the ways you see and have experienced them being generous. Totally love them up (p.s. this is a great form of generosity in itself). If it feels right ask if they could do the same for you (you can even share this with them and make a date of it to do this exchange).
2. Let it sink in that being "selfish" and selectively generous have the potential to have some of the greatest ripple effects in the world. Taking care of yourself is really important. If you are exhausted, drained an operating on empty you will not be able to be as generous. You also perpetuate the message of being a martyr.
3. Pick one generous thing to do (out of the norm?) this week that makes you giddy with excitement.
4. Report back here with what you did and how it went!
