How to Build Back Trust After Failure

This week in Queens of Ease, we went through Portal 3, which is focused on trust, belief, judgment and channeling. On yesterday’s Coaching Call, a question came up that I’ve heard more times than I can count, so I thought you may want to hear what came through in the conversation.

Q: I don't trust the Universe because of the countless of intentions and goals I've set in my life that never became a reality.

So my question is... is this a matter of setting those very actionable commitments again? And continuing to celebrate the proof that Source IS on my side? Is there more? This feels like such a deep root chakra, safety thing.

A: This is something most of us have experienced at some point or another. We keep setting that goal, and we continue to fall short time and time again. It doesn’t take too many rounds of that to start feeling like trust has been broken - both in our own ability to succeed and our belief that the Big U has our back.

Self trust and trust in a Higher Power, to me, are both essential aspects to experiencing more ease, joy, confidence and impact.

If we don’t trust ourselves or the world, we are much less likely to put ourselves out there and consistently share our message and gifts (or even trust that we have a message and gifts).

There are a few things that can support you in building back that trust and ultimately experiencing a sense of success by fulfilling your goals and desires.

Let’s start with 3 possibilities as to why you may not have reached your goal:

1. Are you being really, truly, deeply honest about your desires? Or are you editing, shrinking, manipulating, or censoring them to make them more believable to you and digestible to the world?

I believe God/Source plants desires into our heart and wants us to experience them, but when we distort them into something else, it’s natural to not reach that goal because we are protecting ourselves from receiving something we don’t actually want.

For example, one of my clients expressed to me that she was feeling really at capacity with the inner work she was doing (this woman DOES her work to consistently stay in embodiment of her message), and that she really desired to feel financially supported but it didn’t feel aligned to accept new clients that month. So, instead of manipulating her desire (“my desire is to get clients so I can make money to be financially supported”), she fully owned her desire to simply be financially supported. She quickly received that money in magical ways while staying devoted to the inner work she was being guided to AND without working with any new clients.

But guess what, in the past she had made those edits to her desires, and she experienced months without receiving new clients - reinforcing the belief that it was hard to attract clients and that she never reached her goals or intentions.

I’ll add that this is easier said than done, especially if you’ve pretty consistently ignored, suppressed or hidden your deep desires. It can feel so scary to even name them to ourselves, let alone claim them or share them with anyone else. It takes courage and trust to really listen to and follow the guidance of our deep desires.

But God isn’t here to help us manifest our dishonest desires.

2. Let’s continue to be honest and take responsibility here, is it possible that you may not have committed completely and didn’t follow all the guidance that came through?

3. There may have been lessons for you to learn in order to really be ready to fully receive that desire/experience in a sustainable, healthy way.

The key with this one is to recognize what the lessons were so that when you move forward, you can sink into the knowing that you learned the lesson and therefore don’t need to learn it again. This way, you build trust with yourself and break the belief that you never reach your goals and instead build the belief that you learn and grow and DO reach them.

Now here is the most FUN way to build back Self & Source trust...

Celebrate!

Celebrate the big wins, the little wins. Celebrate every bit of proof that you show up for yourself and that Source shows up for you. Once you bring your mind on board with finding evidence, you’ll start to see it everywhere. And the more proof your mind finds that your desires are coming through, the more you’ll believe your desires are possible. And when you believe your desires are possible, you’re more likely to be honest with yourself about what your deep, true desires really are and have the courage to go for them.

It’s like the giant snowball effect - it just keeps getting more and more momentum.

So, celebrate your heart out and consider this your confirmation that your truest desires ARE possible, and YOU are capable of them. DO keep going!