What a Hot Lunch Date Taught Me About Business Boundaries
I was having a delicious conversation with Chela Davison over a nummy (and tight, glutenous bun free) lunch. And, of course there was mentions of nudity, love, travel, and up-leveling in business - without going crazy or burning out. We realized we both had a similar "problem".
You see, we both have this desire (and I bet you can relate) of wanting to help, serve and go above & beyond the call of duty... a "problem" that has served us well over the years AND was now beginning to open up a new area of personal growth and need for boundaries in order for us to do what we really want to do - what's most important to us.
Here's some insights from our conversation (and no, you don't get to hear the nudity stories...I work on a "you tell me yours, I'll tell you mine" basis):
Helping, serving and going above & beyond can cause issues when:
it prevents you from doing something that is more in alignment and soul-fulfilling
it's something that drains your energy isn't in your zone of genius
it's going to take away from necessary self-care time or your business development time
your doing it purely to pleasure someone else or for approval
you feel like you "have to" do it
If you have a tendency to say "Yes!" to requests and opportunities like...
a lovely acquaintance asking you to promote their upcoming _________ (that doesn't relate to your community), and just because it's a lovely friend (and not an ideal project)
a clients urgent request to write their copy for them
an affluent person asking you to speak on a topic that you aren't actually passionate about or focusing on
a partnership proposal that isn't equally balanced (the kind that you get stuck with all the responsibility, work and risk)
Then we've got some help for you.
Chela just so happens to be frickin' brilliant at creating focus practices, practices that will actually get to the core instead of just sticking a cute hello kitty band-aid over the wound.
Together we decided to rock out a focus practice to help us with this problem of saying "yes" even when we need to say "no, not now", "no, but here's another resource" or "no, and check yourself before you wreck yourself."
I figured you might want to play too.
What to do:
As any opportunity arises (and if you're like me, especially that ones that are exciting!) check in on the following before giving an answer.
*This is an example check list, I highly suggest creating your own based on your requirements
Do I have time to do it and still meet my other needs and obligations to the best of my ability?
Do I know the process will be fun & rewarding?
Is it soulfully aligned?
Is there's an equal give/take or win-win?
Would I be saying "yes" for the right reasons?
Is it working towards a bigger vision of what is important to me and what I want to create in this world?
The double-check check-list
Is this in my zone of genius or zone of excellence?
Is my desire to say yes because of the person or because I genuinely love the idea/project/opportunity/request (am I people-pleasing?)?
Do I REALLY have the time?
What will I have to give up to do this?
What's this on behalf of? (Is this really soulfully aligned?)
So there you have it - a fun way to honor your boundaries, energy, schedule and bigger mission without getting burnt out!
To find the support you need when you feel burnt out, join our sisterhood here, as part of the Soulful Success Tribe.
