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4 Questions To Ask When Faced With Compromise

Just the other day I was feeling pretty stuck and to be honest…stressed.   Even though I’m pretty good at working things out on my own, I just couldn’t seem find a solution that felt right – I was too in my own stuff.

As you may or may not know, some shifts are happening in my business (if you haven’t yet, enter your name and email below to get all the new details and an exciting offer soon!) and there was also a big shift that was happening in my relationship.

…The truth is, I was feeling very vulnerable.  I felt like my only choice was to compromise, but that compromise felt like it would be a slow suffocation of my soul.

exhausted-woman1

That’s when I knew it was time to reach out for some help.  (I believe it is my responsibility as a coach/consultant to do my own deeper work, which often means utilizing my own coach/consultant/healer, so I can show up with integrity and do the best job possible in supporting you).

I was wondering how I could be true to myself AND honor the most important relationship in my life (the one with my husband, Garret).

Look, sometimes staying in your pleasure requires some serious soul searching.  How to be true to yourself AND true to your relationship with your lover, your spouse, your kids, your business or your best friend.

At first look I appeared to have 2 options – neither of which seemed to be very good ones.  My hubby received a job offer he couldn’t refuse in our hometown.  A city that gets extremely cold in the winter and just can’t quite compare to the amazing experience I’ve had in Vancouver.

Actually, I love it here in Vancouver and the thought of moving away from friends, the ocean, mountains and a place that feels like home really sucked.  Plus, I hate the cold and the idea of moving to -40 weather instead of my original plan of spending the winter in someplace warmer made things worse.

Obviously I wanted to stay in Vancouver and I didn’t think I could be happy in any other situation, especially moving back to my hometown.  The only thing was,  my husband felt the same way about not moving and taking this job.  Which one of us would make the compromise that would contribute to one of us being somewhat happy and the other not.

Could either of us be happy with the other not being happy??  I couldn’t see any other options – moving or not moving.

That’s when I turned to my friend, Kristin Planinz for help.  Kristin has a knack for helping you see what you can’t see.  She calls her work Intuitive Heart Healing and it’s pretty amazing (and you may be able to receive a session just like the one I had, on special, you lucky duck!) .  Every time I have a session with her I experience a beautiful mix of subtle and profound shifts, almost always either during the session or within hours afterwards.

After my session, Garret and I were able to come to a decision that felt really good, exciting even, for both of us.

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So, this really hard situation that could have pulled us further apart actually created an opportunity for us to both get out of our comfort zones and to do something we’ve wanted to do – travel.

Thankfully my business is completely mobile and I am able to work from anywhere.  Our new plan is that we will pack everything up here in Vancouver, put it in storage and take a fun road trip back to our hometown.  I’ll stay there for a bit then come back to the West Coast (go to an event, speak at 2 events and host a retreat), head back to the prairies for a month and then Garret and I are both going to have the freedom to go travel for 2 months before headed to The Pleasure Retreat in Mexico.

The moral of the story being that sometimes we can only see two sides of a coin but with a fresh pair of eyes we can begin to see that it’s not a coin but a box with multiple sides.  Multiple options, some better than we could even imagine.

I shall leave you with…

4 questions to ask when faced with a tough choice or compromise:

  • Are there other options that you may not have originally thought of?
  • What will allow you to stay true to who you are and allow you to be the highest version of yourself (hint: it may just require a mindset shift, for example maybe I could have just entertained the idea of actually enjoying my time back in the prairies more than I ever had before)?
  • Is there someone who can help give you a pair of unbiased eyes to help you see what you may not be able to?
  • What is your usual relationship with compromise?  Are you usually the one to give up what you want in order to please someone else or are you stubborn and have a hard time doing anything that isn’t your way?  Is that relationship serving you or could it shift to serve you in a healthier way?

 

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