There is a moment in time I’m sure you’ve experienced at least once in your life.
That moment when you’re going through something that, quite frankly, is at least somewhat torturous emotionally. But you’re supposed to be positive. You’re supposed to present yourself like a successful business owner. You’re supposed to have it all together. You’re supposed to be professional. Or else.
- You could ruin your reputation or credibility
- People will think you can’t help them anymore
- People will think you’re a failure or, worse yet, a fraud
- People will just think you’re crazy
And yet, there’s something inside of you that longs to share what you’re experiencing, while simultaneously feeling scared shitless to share what you’re experiencing.
To share or not to share. That is the question.
I’ve had many of these moments in time over the last 7 years.
They typically happen when I am ready for a shift, or an uplevel in my business. During these periods of time I usually end up questioning everything. About my business, my purpose and pretty much my whole existence.
Am I on the right track?
Why aren’t I further along?
What is my message really?
It would be so much easier to just work at a job where I didn’t have any (big) responsibility and could just “quit” (or turn off my brain) when the day was done.
It’s always painful to question these things. I’d feel alone. Like no one would understand what I was going through. There was that mix of wanting to talk to someone, and not wanting to talk to anyone (because what was the point, they wouldn’t get it. Insert humph). Kind of like that feeling when you want to do something, go out and have fun, but you don’t want to do ANYTHING – leaving you feeling totally listless, restless and bored all at the same time.
I’ve spent weeks in that spiral, just wanting to slump around. Meanwhile I felt like I had to present myself in a way that made everything seem perfect and put together on the business front.
I think most business owners (well, all of us really) feel that way at one point or another.
That if you’re going to be “professional” and successful that you have to present yourself as having it all together all the time. Only show the polished stuff. Keep that smiling face the only part others see of you.
Honestly, there are still times when I debate in my head around how much to share in my business, and when. Do I share it while I’m going through it, after I’ve been through it and have this pretty, inspiring story to tell or not share at all?
I think most business owners know how important it is to share their “heroine’s” journey. This story of how your life was before this miracle happened and now everything is perfect. While I believe the sharing of this kind of story is important in order to show that you’ve learned what you’ve needed to in order to support your Soul Mate Clients, I think there needs to be more.
More vulnerability, more honesty.
Because while putting on a smile has the ability to shift how you feel and perk you up + inspire others, it may not be enough.
In order to experience optimal levels of joy you have to allow yourself to FEEL whatever else you might be feeling, including what might be really uncomfortable feelings.
Once again, while the forced smile may help, what I’ve found to help even more is vulnerability. Being honest. With yourself. With others.
This doesn’t mean moping, complaining and being a miserable person to be around. It does, however, mean being willing to share what you’re thinking, feeling, enjoying (and not) and allowing yourself to connect with others who have experienced similar feelings. I’ve found time and time again that when we share, connect and realize that there isn’t something “wrong” with us that those uncomfortable feelings start to melt away and can start shifting into feelings of relief, and then joy.
This also doesn’t mean that you have to share what you’re experiencing to everyone or in any certain way.
My advice to you is this…
Trust your intuition. If there are parts of your journey, whether after or during the fact, that you feel scared shitless yet compelled to share, then chances are you are being guided to share them. Sometimes you might need to share them after you’ve experienced them and been through the other side. Sometimes you might be meant to share them in the moment. Sometimes you might only need to share with a few select people.
[Tweet “There is no “one and only way” to get it “right.” Life is a dance. “]
Just like the songs and your (hot) dance moves change over time, so will how you need to express yourself. Trust the flow.
Pay attention to the signs, feelings, thoughts AND your “why” behind it. What is your motivation for sharing or not sharing? Is it because you want to be of service? You want to stand out and get attention? Or, you just feel really called to share and feel like you have to follow that guidance? Are you avoiding sharing because you’re scared of what people might think? Because you don’t want to upset someone?
Also, keep in mind you can share your thoughts and feelings in three different ways:
- With a trusted friend.
- With a trusted mentor.
- With your community.
When you share from a place of vulnerability and authenticity a few things happen:
- You connect. To what you’re feeling and to someone else.
- You let someone else know that they aren’t alone in what they are experiencing either.
- By feeling and sharing what you’re going through to it’s full expression you can allow it to shift into something else. Joy. Inspiration. Purpose.
What is most important is that you don’t carry on holding it all in. Sitting in those experiences and feelings alone. The discomfort and confusion will last way longer than necessary if you do, and can melt away very quickly when you start expressing yourself and speaking your truth.
Your next steps:
Join our sisterhood here as part of the Soulful Success Tribe. I assure you, it will connect a few dots, bring relief, and help you to know you aren’t alone.