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The Giver/People-Pleasing Syndrome

This syndrome is keeping women all over the world from living an extra-ordinary life filled with pleasure.

If you are here reading this there is a good chance that you are or have experienced this syndrome yourself.

The Giver/People-Pleasing Syndrome consists of one living their life seeking love, approval and acknowledgement by making others happy.  By doing what other people think they “should” do or what other people expect them to day.

To be clear I am not saying it’s a bad thing to want to make others happy – that in itself is a wonderful thing!

Where the problem comes in is when we lose our sense of self, what pleases us.  This is quite an issue because as someone who wants to give and contribute to the world you may be realizing that all this people pleasing and living to make others happy is draining and can cause resentment, exhaustion and even anger, as well as general malaise and loss of identity IF you aren’t already completely tapped into your pleasure first.

Tired-Woman

So badly we want to fit in and be liked by others.  What you may be starting to notice is that the people that you are attracted to are the ones living and expressing their authentic selves without apology.  You may wish you had that charisma and confidence to attract others so seemingly effortlessly.

Guess what?  You can.  And you already have that potential inside of you – all you need to do is allow yourself to find, explore and express it.

It is in our unique-ness that we attract others and it is in our unapologetic self-love that we create and maintain the energy and inspiration to give more to the world in a healthy way that sustains instead of drains us.

“It is in our unapologetic self-love that we create and maintain the energy and inspiration to give more to the world in a healthy way that sustains us instead of drains us.

I won’t say it’s an easy path – it can actually be quite challenging and trying at times, but if you want to experience:

  • true connection
  • authentic self-expression aka feeling totally “you”
  • ambition and energy
  • pleasure
  • freedom

Then it is a journey that is well worth it.

I challenge you today to ask yourself if it would be worth it to you to give up your comfort or perhaps your somewhat uncomfortable certainty to live full out in your pleasure, being totally YOU and feeling inspired – giving out of a state of excess vs.  lack?

If the answer is yes – woo hoo!  Here are some things to ponder, explore and apply.

  1. Understand your “why” (why you want to do and feel what you want to do and feel) – it’ll be your motivation in trying times.

  2. Ask yourself what has been holding you back?

  3. Ask yourself what you will need to do/not do in order to move forward?

  4. Explore and challenge yourself to get to know you.  Take yourself on regular dates.

  5. Experience pleasure – and the clarity and contrast along the way.

*After such a long time of pleasing others the idea of having “fun” and doing what brings you pleasure may very well leave you feeling stumped.  So – if that is the case (I know it was for me) – go try a whole bunch of things that come to mind, with a virgin mind/senses, and gain that clarity on whether or not it is something you truly enjoy and why.

Early on in my journey there was a lot of guilty feelings for not being content with my life, despite my many blessings, and also a total sense of cluelessness – I had no idea what I liked, what was fun for me and what to explore.

All you can do is keep taking steps, actions and gaining clarity.  You’re on the right track!

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