Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.
I’ve observed this need and desire for many of those around me to prove themselves. To prove they can do it all. As women and as business owners there seems to be this ingrained motivation to prove we can do it.
Here’s the thing – I know, you know, heck – we all know you can do it! It’s time to switch your focus to doing things you want to do – because you love them and you are frickin’ amazing at them vs. because you can do them.
I can answer emails in the evenings and on weekends.
I can take on 10 clients at a time.
I can launch 2 things at once.
I can make videos.
I can figure out how to use photoshop.
I can have 5 meetings today with friends and people who want to “pick my brain.”
I can do an interview on x topic even though it’s not my main focus right now.
I can be your joint venture partner.
But, here’s the thing…
I want to take weekends off of the computer.
I want to focus my energy on 5 awesome clients.
I want to launch 1 thing in the most fun way possible.
I want to write instead of doing videos.
I want someone else to design pretty things for me.
I want to have a day all to myself just to write instead of spending my free time helping people who aren’t invested in results.
I want to share what you’ve created because I think it’s amazing (not because we have an agreement).
I bet you could pretty easily whip up a list like this – of all the things in your life you CAN do but aren’t necessarily in alignment with your bigger vision or how you want to be spending your time right now. And, yes, I recommend you write that list out…now.
What are all the things you don’t want to do anymore?
Now write a list of what you want instead.
What is going to be required to support yourself in transitioning out of those things and into living the life you want?
Boundaries. Solid, clear, healthy, loving boundaries.
*A personal note on boundaries: you will notice that at different times in your life and business certain boundaries will be more (or less) important based on your needs at that time. Pay attention to your needs and be open to change. You’ll know when it’s time.
Here’s how to set healthy boundaries in 2 easy steps.
Step 1: Write your new boundaries down and commit to them. Get clear on whether or not there are exceptions, and if so, what they look like.
A lot of the time the boundaries need to be set up first for yourself. For example “I am not longer making myself available for or going to do work emails during the weekends.”
Step 2: Communicate new boundaries with those who will need to know them.
This could be in the form of an email, conversation, autoresponder, recording, the first session with a client or group, a guidelines documents, etc.
Be clear, concise and if application notify them of exceptions, as well as what will happen if boundaries are crossed.
Know that for many, setting and communicating boundaries isn’t easy.
Keep practicing (start with the ones that feel easier and less intense/personal) and know it’s okay to soften things by being really honest.
Here’s an example:
“I know I’ve been answering emails over the weekends – and I want you to know it’s been really fun for me to do so and to support you in that way. I need to ask for your support though. I am setting a boundary for myself to stay off work and the computer duing the weekends so I can focus more on personal projects and family. You can support me by:
– waiting until Monday’s to send an email
– or, if you do need to send an email on the weekend just mention something like “I look forward to your response next week.”
Thanks so much for your help with this. I know this time off will allow me to do a better job during the week.
Your sign off…”
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Good luck and let us know what boundaries you’ll be setting. Let us know how it goes by joining the Soulful Success Tribe here.